The Key to Love
by Eijentu
Summary: Post-series. A very short piece about Tomo and Yomi, and the reaching of certain conclusions. Femmeslash abounds.


THE KEY TO LOVE

**DISCLAIMER:** Don't own Azumanga Daioh, and not claiming I do. :)

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When Tomo kisses Yomi, it will be their third term at university. It will be late on a Thursday. They will be sitting on the floor of Yomi's bedroom and both will be flushed with too much sake. The house will be quiet and still. It will be a week since Tomo ventured into Shinjuku Ni-choume, and plucked up every last nerve to walk casually into a women's only bar. Yomi will have a boyfriend, and she'll wonder why kissing Tomo feels so different, so _right_, and what's wrong with her, then, that she feels so awkward kissing a boy and not awkward at all kissing a girl.

When Yomi pulls back, cheeks flaming and ready to explode, she'll see Tomo intense and jittery like she's never seen her. It will hit her then, like a ton of bricks, that Tomo isn't just playing the fool or baiting for a reaction. Somehow the sight of Tomo acting in earnest will be almost more shocking than the reality of having been kissed. It will dawn on Yomi too that very quickly, she needs to decide whether she'd rather feel awkward kissing the right type of person, or not awkward kissing the wrong type.

When Tomo sees the look on Yomi's face, she'll start laughing about what a great gag _that_ was, and reach for the sake bottle. She'll slosh some more into her glass, and do her best to ignore the, "Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot!" screaming inside her brain. The sight of Yomi's hand moving to wipe her mouth will hurt more than she could have suspected. She'll plaster a maddening grin on her face, and demand Yomi tell her who kisses better – she or the boyfriend. She'll gloat more and more obnoxiously over Yomi's red cheeks, but won't meet her eye. She'll search for the worst thing she could possibly say, something to push Yomi over the edge, so that once she's recovered from the inevitable blow, things will be back to normal again.

When Yomi sees Tomo's ridiculous smile, she'll feel angry. Not simply because that face always rubs her the wrong way, but because this will be _Tomo's_ problem, not hers. She'll resent the sudden turning upside down of her world, the dredging up of things forgotten. She'll think about the relentless doubt that plagued her adolescence – her yearning to be slim and successful and normal – and how she doesn't need Tomo to drive a bulldozer through her efforts. She'll snatch away the nearly empty bottle of sake, not able to tolerate the bravado so flimsily masking her friend's crushed heart. She'll wish that this had taken place somewhere else so she could simply stand up and walk away from it, all the confusing feelings whirling inside her, and so that by the time she got home, she could text her boyfriend goodnight and pretend it had never happened.

When Tomo's outrageous behaviour doesn't earn her so much as a slap, she'll know the game is up. She'll feel the slump of loss, cold and heavy, in her stomach. She'll tell herself that it could never have worked out with Yomi, and she didn't really want it to anyway. She'll pretend that her confusion blinded her, messed her up while she was figuring herself out, and that Yomi was just a convenient target for her affections. She'll ignore the fact that she's a straightforward sort of girl, her actions always a true measure of her feelings, and that she's been nursing these in particular for longer than she can say. She'll come face to face with her unconscious belief that because it was Yomi, everything would somehow work out, and see it for false, naïve, _idiotic_ hope. She'll see the distance between them, which has caused her such anguish that year, widening to a chasm, and she'll be afraid that she cannot traverse it.

When Tomo stands to leave, Yomi will feel anger and surprise thicken into panic. She'll realise that she has less than a minute to decide about Tomo and being normal and which is more important. She'll stammer something nonsensical to buy some time so she can think, just _think_, about what the hell she's supposed to do now that the half-formed idea at the back of her mind has leapt so rudely to life. Anxiety will pitch her voice higher as she tries not be swayed by the warm, thrilling rightness of that kiss. She'll pour the last of the sake, and watch in dismay as Tomo doesn't turn back to take it. She'll feel her heart sink horribly at the thought of grey, empty days with no prospect of meeting Tomo to cheer her. She'll re-examine how eagerly she looks forward to those meetings, and the heady, joyful glow that lingers after. She'll stand too, and her legs will feel unsteady and weak beneath her.

When Yomi kisses Tomo, Tomo will kiss back. They will be standing in the doorway of Yomi's bedroom. Tomo's jacket will be half on, half off, and will gradually sag to the floor. Yomi's hands, stiff and nervous against Tomo's shoulder, will soften into an embrace. Neither will know what happens next or what will become of them. Neither will be able to think further than the next minute. Yet somehow both will marvel at the rightness of this kiss. Both will lean closer. Both will feel a small flicker of hope that more kisses might follow, and that perhaps fate really does exist after all.

END

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_Shinjuku Ni-choume – LGBT area of Tokyo_

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this. The title is taken from the line of _Raspberry Heaven_ that plays over Yomi and Tomo in the end credits – "the key to love is the future". I think it's rather an apt line for these two. My sneaking suspicion is that once they matured a bit, certain realisations would come about. :)

Though half of me wonders whether Tomo wouldn't simply announce, "Tomo and Yomi's first kiss, take one!" and lunge at Yomi.

Please do drop me a line, let me know what you thought.


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